Joe Tye (a former hospital administrator) in his Spark Plug Embrace the 4 Personal Freedoms has some good advice for us. His Spark Plug newsletter is free of charge http://valuescoach.com
- These freedoms must be claimed and nourished by you as no one can grant them to you
- Freedom from the past
- We all carry around emotional baggage as negative self-talk/internal dialog which is nothing more than malignant echo of things that were said to us in the past and that are now insinuating themselves into your sense of self identity.
- Remember the past is what you choose to focus on. Research has shown that geniuses fabricate a past that supports who they want to be in the future
- Perhaps think about your painful past as a rock you get rid of
- Your negative self talk is always second person such as “you are” which comes from what someone else has said so stand up for yourself and talk back indicating that you have learned from it and moved on
- The key to changing your assumptions is to recognize them in the first place
- They are often implicit, acting below the level of conscious awareness so any time you find yourself stuck and not taking the action you need to ask yourself what is holding you back
- Test their current validity by asking yourself what current data supports them
- They are stealing your energy which is even more damaging than stealing your money
- To claim your freedom walk away as soon as the criticizing, complaining, gossiping and finger pointing begins.
- If you are unable to leave the room put a big smile on your face and give a positive spin to every topic
- Freedom from self-limiting assumptions
- Don't impose serious limitations on your potential by assuming that unless and until proved otherwise you can achieve anything you desire
- As an example you will worry a lot less about what other people think of you if you will admit to yourself how infrequently they really think about you
- Freedom from emotional vampires
- Research has shown that the single most powerful impact upon your attitudes, behaviors, beliefs is the people that you associate with
- If you spend time with toxically negative people (emotional vampires) who suck the life energy from everyone around them they will pollute your emotional wellbeing the same way as hanging around smokers will pollute your lungs
- They may criticize you for wanting to work hard, for being passionate about your job and for wanting to bring joy to the workplace
- Freedom from the fear of humiliation
- Generally when people talk about fear of rejection or fear of failure what they are really talking about is fear of humiliation as it is embarrassing to be rejected or to fail.
- Fear of humiliation is a prison that can be more confining than any prison cell
- The key is to not take things personally as everyone is entitled to their opinion
- Claim your freedom
- Set aside some quiet time for yourself and think about how you can declare your independence from the baggage of the past, assumptions of the present, negative emotional vampires and the fears that are holding you back from pursuing your most authentic goals and dream as well as becoming the person you are meant to be
- In today’s world no one can give you the freedoms that really matter as you must claim them for yourself.
Please share your experiences.