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I just finished my first real clinical APPE rotation.  For six weeks, I was part of an inpatient hospital unit as well as a member of a medicine team, and then I had two exactly two days during which I could reflect on my experiences before being thrown in to the next adventure.  The easiest way to evaluate my APPE was by looking at my formal grading rubric, in which my preceptor judged whether my performance in a variety of areas exceeded, met, or fell below expectations.   But I think a more fulfilling way to reflect is to think about whether I met my expectations of myself; whether I fulfilled the expectations others have of a future pharmacist; and, from a different perspective all together, whether the rotation met my expectations.

What was I expecting of the rotation anyway?  A great learning opportunity? Check.  A chance to improve my patient interaction skills? Check.  Exposure to a variety of disease states and medicines with which to treat them? Check.  Integration into pharmacy practice? Check.  Honestly, beyond these few fundamental expectations, I approached my rotation with an open mind, willing to tackle whatever came my way.  

I hope that I fulfilled expectations others hold of pharmacists.  As a member of a medicine team, I tried to contribute to patient care in a meaningful way. Some days I had a bunch of nuggets to offer, some days only a couple.  But after a few weeks, the students and residents started asking me questions once in a while and seeking my opinion. Of course, I also fulfilled a couple of the less desirable expectations that stick with pharmacists; for example, queasiness. While the medical students and residents were examining a gaping, weeping wound (and they just couldn't get close enough!), I hummed a little tune in my head and gazed out the window at the beautiful blue sky. Or it might have been cloudy. I don't know, but the view certainly wasn't that of an infected wound! 

As for my expectations of myself?  Those are much more difficult to articulate.  I certainly walked away from the experience a more learned and competent pharmacy student.  By the end of the rotation I could synthesize information and identify the reasoning behind combinations of medications more clearly than I ever could from just reading a book and studying my notes.  And that is really what these rotations are about.  Yes, there was even more to learn (I think that never ends!) and yes, I see opportunities that I missed.  But, as I look back over my incredibly quick six weeks, I am walking away feeling good about what I learned, the amount of effort I put into the experience, what I left behind and where I am going.