How good a listener
are you? Remember this book review is not meant to be complete and is just
my take for pharmacy leaders. This book especially has lots of rich
information.
Mark Goulston in his 2010 book, Just Listen. Discover the Secret to Getting Through to Absolutely Anyone presents a number of
excellent ideas. Here are some
ideas to keep in mind when you listen to people.
·
Rewire
yourself to listen. It is human nature to have made judgments about people
from our past experience with them which color our feelings and these
perceptions subconsciously may distort what we hear. The solution is as you are listening, see what you are
thinking about them and weight it against reality then you will be listening to
the actual person in front of you not something from the past.
·
Make the
other person feel “Felt”. This
simply means putting yourself in the other person’s shoes. When you mirror them they likely will
do the same for you which leads to cooperation, collaboration and effective
communication. Sincerely use
phrases like “I understand what you’re feeling” or paraphrase back what you
have heard. Remember when people feel felt, they feel less anxious and afraid
which means they are likely to listen more closely to what you have to say
after they finish.
·
Be more
interested in listening than you are in impressing the other person. Focusing your total attention on the
person talking helps them be more candid and feel you are hearing them.
·
Make
people feel valuable. Never assume people know how you think they are doing
unless you frequently tell them.
Also pay attention to the annoying people as well because these
high-maintenance, easy-to-upset, difficult to please people feel as if the
world isn’t treating them well enough.
Once they matter to you by you listening to them their behavior may
change for the better.
Some techniques to
keep in mind are
·
When people are being closed minded. Use the
impossibility questions; “What is something that would be impossible to do, but
if you could do it, would dramatically increase your success?” After they
answer then ask “What would make it possible?.” By these questions you are moving the person into a thinking
approach.
·
For an out of control rant, “Do you really
believe that?” which causes the person to restate and usually they backpedal some
which allows you to say “I need to know what the truth is”
·
Use the power of “hmmm…” when you are listening
to a person who is angry, defensive and sure you are the bad guy. Remember it
takes two to have an argument so don’t escalate by defending yourself. You want
to indicate to the person that they are important to you and so is their
problem.
·
Employ “fill in the blanks” when you think
asking questions will put them on the defensive. You want to engage them in a
conversation so ask “the reason this is important is______?” or “share with me
your thinking”.
Please share comments
or suggestions on listening effectively based on your experience. Thanks for
considering this information.
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