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Do You Listen Well?

By Sara White posted 07-15-2011 10:09

  

How good a listener are you? Remember this book review is not meant to be complete and is just my take for pharmacy leaders. This book especially has lots of rich information.

Mark Goulston in his 2010 book, Just Listen. Discover the Secret to Getting Through to Absolutely Anyone presents a number of excellent ideas.  Here are some ideas to keep in mind when you listen to people.

·      Rewire yourself to listen. It is human nature to have made judgments about people from our past experience with them which color our feelings and these perceptions subconsciously may distort what we hear.  The solution is as you are listening, see what you are thinking about them and weight it against reality then you will be listening to the actual person in front of you not something from the past.

·      Make the other person feel “Felt”.  This simply means putting yourself in the other person’s shoes.  When you mirror them they likely will do the same for you which leads to cooperation, collaboration and effective communication.  Sincerely use phrases like “I understand what you’re feeling” or paraphrase back what you have heard. Remember when people feel felt, they feel less anxious and afraid which means they are likely to listen more closely to what you have to say after they finish.

·      Be more interested in listening than you are in impressing the other person.  Focusing your total attention on the person talking helps them be more candid and feel you are hearing them.

·      Make people feel valuable. Never assume people know how you think they are doing unless you frequently tell them.  Also pay attention to the annoying people as well because these high-maintenance, easy-to-upset, difficult to please people feel as if the world isn’t treating them well enough.  Once they matter to you by you listening to them their behavior may change for the better.

Some techniques to keep in mind are

·      When people are being closed minded. Use the impossibility questions; “What is something that would be impossible to do, but if you could do it, would dramatically increase your success?” After they answer then ask “What would make it possible?.”  By these questions you are moving the person into a thinking approach.

·      For an out of control rant, “Do you really believe that?” which causes the person to restate and usually they backpedal some which allows you to say “I need to know what the truth is”

·      Use the power of “hmmm…” when you are listening to a person who is angry, defensive and sure you are the bad guy. Remember it takes two to have an argument so don’t escalate by defending yourself. You want to indicate to the person that they are important to you and so is their problem.

·      Employ “fill in the blanks” when you think asking questions will put them on the defensive. You want to engage them in a conversation so ask “the reason this is important is______?” or “share with me your thinking”.

Please share comments or suggestions on listening effectively based on your experience. Thanks for considering this information.



#PharmacyLeadership #NewPractitioners #PharmacyPracticeManagers
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Comments

07-28-2011 21:10

Thank you for this post. People often forget that listening skills are just as important to being an effective leader as speaking skills. I look forward to reading this book!

07-19-2011 10:34

I highly recommend this book. I've read it and recommend it often to others. A great read!