Squillaro and Thomas in Headtrash Cleaning Out the Junk that Stands Between You and Success offers the following comments about getting unstuck and breaking through self made barriers.
- Self-defeating thought patterns and emotional tendencies such as fear, arrogance, insecurity, control, anger, guilt and paranoia can keep you stuck just this side of success. Unfortunately these issues are often the work of your subconscious mind hence you probably aren’t sabotaging yourself on purpose as you may not even realize you are doing it at all
- Headtrash is your negative inner dialog/self talk such as self defeating feelings and thoughts that leads you into trouble and keeps you stuck there. If you are the leader then your people may also be stuck.
- What type of leader are you, controlling or empowering
- Controlling Empowering
- Holds people back Urges people on
- Creates compliant employees Creates committed staff
- Dominates Influences
- Makes staff fearful Creates a safe environment
- Oversee everything Delegates responsibility
- Stifles new thinking Fuels innovation
- Keeps people guessing Is open and clear on big issues
- Habits to practice
- Truly embrace compliments and value your worth instead of leaping to devalue yourself or diminishing the praise
- Feed your noisy brain with the right stuff by changing your negative self talk to be more realistic such as when you make a mistake say “what have I learned” and mistakes are part of life
- Stop comparing yourself to others instead challenge yourself to be better than last month thus focusing on what you are doing right and how you can improve
- Accentuate the positive by having faith in yourself and your ability to figure everything out. Your job is to test your perceptions of yourself, to lose your sense of victimhood, and see who you really are. Seek out candid performance feedback
- Do it for the team as who you as the leader are and how you behave affects everyone
- Insecurity is the most crippling of all the HeadTrash because no other leadership obstacle is so deeply rooted
- The first step is to turn your self trashing into self respecting dialog so say things like
- I can do this
- I’m not a victim
- Maybe I am overacting
- I like a good challenge
- Repeat positive thoughts and feelings
- Find a mentor or coach who can assist you to work on how you can positively handle fear, arrogance, control, anger, guilt and paranoia because these “demons” can derail even the most promising leader.
Comments are welcome.
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